Saw her phone that last video quite interesting also quite insightful.
Tell me where are you able to role play what I shared with you to yourself because there's going to
be some people taking this course right now who are really rigidly taking notes looking and remember
all this stuff so that they can share this information with some other people in some way at some point
in the future.
And my friend if this is you please put your pen down and hear me when I see that this approach is not
going to serve you or anyone else.
If you choose to go down this road of life coaching because life coaching is 100 percent relational
as we've already established every relationship in life is base and bell upon a foundation of trust.
Trust is developed over time and people were only going to come to trust you in life if they're able
to see that you're actually interested in them.
You see people who are interested in understanding other people aren't generally interested in the information
within itself.
They're more interested in how information is affecting the individual and why that's a problem.
You see people don't do the things that they do for the reasons that we would naturally be inclined
to think that they do them.
It's these very core values that like the core of the driving engine that governs every single person's
life in the whole world.
You see progress is but one of our core innate fundamental human drivers are core motives our core values
which are pretty much all the same thing.
You'll remember once hearing our story and it was kind of a metaphor or it was about a guy who he had
as he had as mine is mine shared which to form off of his garage or his garage.
If you're living in the US right now and in his garage he had all those tools up and the walkways is
two boxes of power drawers and he would compare himself to the guy across the road.
Have you ever heard you know keeping up keeping up with the Joneses.
You know what I mean by that.
Well this guy was looking to keep up appearances and always stay one step ahead of the guy across the
road I guess.
Well you might say he'd fallen into the significance truck.
He just wanted to be seen as bigger and better than his his neighbours.
So when his wife came out one day she'd been she'd been up there and of the neighbor's house having
a coffee and she just happened to mention it.
All mr. JONES Just bought myself a brand new power drill top of the range apparently.
And this triggered something with her husband because the next thing he was shopping on his mobile phone
looking for this power drol looking to get something that was even bigger and even better.
And his wife said you know I don't understand you guys tell me why is it that you want a drill.
And when she asked a question the guy just got frustrated.
These are just don't question me when I just want a drill.
And she said I mean is it really a drill that you want or do you just want to be able to put holes in
the wall.
What's the reason for your wanting a drill.
No the guy was starting to get even more disgruntled and even more rattled and said I mean if you think
about it I mean was the ultimate main reason why anyone would want a drug.
You'd obviously want a joto horse in the world but the ultimate aim would be to to hang up a shelf or
to attach something to something.
It's for doing some sort of DIY of some handy manship.
And I guess this may have paints a picture.
Sometimes people will pursue things in life not for the reasons that we would be inclined to think that
they're pursuing them.
For example the reason why one man would want to be bigger and better and do another man is because
he'd actually physically needs to be bigger and better it's because he fundamentally wants to be seen
as more significant.
Why is it that someone would need to be seen as more significant as someone else in life.
I mean consider the common place of work a common set of offices or if you work in the public service
in some way there's a lot of this goes on isn't there where people will stab people in the back and
do the dirty on others to get promotion to get ahead of life keble who have fallen into the significance
Trump where significance for them moving forward progressing comes through pursuing significance and
they see promotions status rank moving up the chain of command as a means by which to progress and get
significance.
So it's all the promotion within itself that's the main thing.
It's not having the bigger Drow within itself that's the main thing is generally significance within
itself.
That's the main thing.
But what I would like to just point out here and hopefully help you see that when I say that our core
values are kind like a spider web there really are.
I've written some some words on a board here which are quite neat and structured and ordered that this
is not how our core values work.
I am not going to be able to do this topic justice for you because it would take me days or weeks and
most people would turn off and give me hate mail saying this is a boring course so I want to condense
this and package it up and explain it as articulately as possible in a way that you hopefully understand.
Think about it.
Why would someone need to prove how significant they are to themselves or someone else if they were
fundamentally secure and who they were.
Why would someone need another promotion or need to work their way up the food chain need to prove themselves
to the world if they knew who they were and if they were fundamentally secure in who they were are you
know able to see the value in the core identity coaching model that are shared with you.
In our section because if an individual isn't fundamentally secure in who they are then we are not free.
And if they are not free within themselves then they're not going to be able to make the degree of progress
that they want to make because it's always going to be fear that is holding them back.
Fear of being seen as insignificant in the eyes of other people.
I can remember reading an article about quite a number of years ago I think it was in Vogue magazine
and it wasn't that I actually read Vogue magazine regularly it was a dentist surgery or something like
that as a book I can't even remember when I read this article.
And it was to do with Madonna.
No this was written about 15 years ago some not seen though.
What was true back then is true today is still not.
If you're watching this right now.
I'm not slandering you or anything like that I'm just quoting a given reference to something that I've
read in the past.
And this interview quoted Madonna word for word after she'd been asked about what it was that draw foreign
life.
The interviewee has said Midori you're so driven.
What is it that drives you.
And she actually responded by saying something along the lines of my whole life I've been driven by
this need to prove my significance to other people.
I've been running away from being seen as media Walker and this thing has been driving me.
It's been driving me all of my life.
It's as if every time I reach this place where I've achieved something or accomplished something I've
finally proven to all these other people unto myself that I'm somebody.
But the problem is once I've had the next chart topping sing or something like that the novelty eventually
wears off and then I just need to keep on proving that I am this somebody.
So all these other people my struggle has never ended.
And I guess that it never.
Well this story might not have been may not have been communicated word for word the way that Madonna
actually spoke.
But the essence is still very much the same as pointing towards the significance Trump that many people
follow into life because significance is such a deep and profound driver in life.
Some people can become landed there are need to progress no progress within itself isn't a bad thing.
But if you need to progress to prove yourself to others then it does become a bad thing.
What we're talking about here is or more.
You see in life.
We have we have to to paint some motive's we've got positive motivators and then we've got negative
motivators no positive motivators of where we're working towards are actively progressing towards what
it is that we want.
Whereas negative motivators is where we are trying to get away from what we don't want.
Say for example at some point in the future he may end up working with someone who is obese of work
for someone who is quite heavily overweight.
A few years ago no and we established what was driving them in life.
It was a negative motivator because regardless of how many it's the weigh in on how many fitness regimes
they're committed to they kept on coming back to this place would be city it's where if they drop their
standards lowered the guard for a few moments or a few weeks the pounds will just come flooding back
on again.
And the reason for this is because people act in accordance with who they believe that they are.
Think about it.
If you're if you're more of it life is just getting away from being insignificant than what you look
at or you're actually looking at insignificance and what you focus on life.
You will naturally gravitate towards you naturally feel whereas if you're if you're focussed on more
of a positive motivator for example for me progress for me is about reach this stage of life where I'm
able to give in an unlimited way.
All right I want to be generous.
Without any limits I want them to be no limits to my generosity and how much I fundamentally give other
people in life.
That's a goal for me.
No no here's a funny thing.
If I reach this place in life where I'm making millions of billions that I can launch charity is in
fact already have launched a charity.
But I give two.
Feed the Hungry and teach the world and do all a saw thing and that's going to be great.
But none of these things are going to make me more significant than who I already am because who I am
is who I am at the core.
Will looked at this in all US section who you are is who you are at the core of which with no established
who your client is is who your client is at the core.
Now here's the thing.
When it comes to significance our significance in life is not for us to determine it's not for me to
determine how significant I am for you.
And it's actually not for you to determine how significant you are for your client.
Your client is only ever going to see you as significant if they feel like they're getting what they
want from you if they feel like you're helping them to get more of what they need and want if they feel
like you're the person who's able to help them make progress in life to get away from the real and closer
towards the ideal and get away from self-esteem how they feel about themselves and plosive towards their
true self concept where it is that they fundamentally want to be a life.
So this is a broad overview.
I'm just throwing this this lesson into the mix here.
So to help confuse you.
I actually purposefully because what I would want anyone to be doing through the section I'm going to
plead for years to put your put your pens in you know pants down don't be taking notes.
Just study what I'm talking about.
Because when it comes to understanding human values there's no seven step process.
There's no way of getting this right.
The only way you're ever going to understand people is by paying attention by seeking to understand
by putting the interests of this other person first and by putting our own personal agenda or a need
to make progress or be seen as significant behind.
I'm not saying this is going to be true for all people but it is true for many here in Scotlands life
coaching is a popular topic and there are many people who would package them up and define themselves
as life coaches.
But what I am saying also is that I haven't yet come across too many who are doing so for good and noble
and pure reasons.
Ray there's many people who who like the significance or the perceived significance that comes through.
So sit tight or so.
This is an introduction of where we're going to be going what we're going to be looking out through
the section.
I hope this on some level makes sense.
But in the next video I'm going to share with you our story.
There's going to help you to fundamentally understand the very essence and the nature of every single
problem that anyone could ever come to you with saw them.
This made sense.
Look forward seeing in the next clip.